He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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