i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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