i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize