awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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