me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
