Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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