i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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