3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
