Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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