I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
