It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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