i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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