Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize