you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
bring money and cleavage
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
