her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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