I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
