update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
time to smoke my breakfast
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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