They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
