Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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