in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
