is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
