Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is my gift to your gina
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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