everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
