we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
