my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
