You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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