she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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