My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize