I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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