I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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