bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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