Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
