I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
