Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
