i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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