these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
