And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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