haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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