There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
