he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
