5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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