it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
