i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize