this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
