dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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