she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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