Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
