Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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