some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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