I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just invented taco cereal.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
