I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
