Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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