One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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