Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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