by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
