I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
