We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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