I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
