thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize