We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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