still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
